I love him to bits and pieces. It started in a crush and turned out to something more. I didn’t expected that he’ll be mine ‘cause he has a girlfriend when we started talking. But what the heck?! WE’RE DESTINED.

We went to the same college. I can’t remember how we start talking. He is the quiet type plus i’m crushing on some other guy when we met so I don’t really care if he speak to me or not. It was almost the end of Spring when he caught my attention. we talked, exchanged smiles and hellos plus I noticed the way he dress and the sound of his voice. That’s how my little crush on him started.

We became Facebook friends. We exchanged numbers and he texted me first. I’m starting to like him more that time. And I guess he feels the same. I spend a few weeks of Summer in New York but he kinda asked me to go home so we can spend time together. Because I like him so much, I think it will be a start of something special…I went home.

I love that Summer! I spent most of my time with him and I get to know him more. And geez, the more I get to know him, the more I fall in love. We officially became together that Summer. We had a tough start. Our relationship got its ups and downs on the first few months. But I told ya, we’re destined. We survived everything and our relationship become stronger.

We’ve been together for almost two years now and I am really grateful that I have him. He sticked with me despite my bratty side which he hates so much. He’s so good in making me happy and making our relationship work. He’s the only guy that came into my life that made such great impact. And yes, I think without him…I’ll die.

I’m going to try to post blog entries as often as I can. I don’t even know why I started this blog when I knew that I am not really a blogger. =D

“It’s like the earth crashed me into pieces.” That’s how my Mom describes her feelings when she found out that I am pregnant.

I would say one of the most hardest stage of the pregnancy is telling your parents that you’re pregnant especially if you’re a young mommy-to-be. Not that I am exaggerating things but it is the toughest part for me.

My parents doesn’t know that I am in a relationship which is why it is extra harder to tell them that I am having a baby. I tried to think of so many ways on how to tell them about the baby. With my personality, I thought of unremorseful things to say when I tell them my big news. It was crazy. I couldn’t sleep well at night. I even planned not to tell them until my belly shows. I even faked my period and pretended that I am using my sanitary pads by throwing them into the bin.

Unfortunately, my Mom is one smart woman. All those times she was keeping track of my period. She actually told me that she thinks I’m pregnant even before I found out. Of course, I denied it twice because I am not sure yet. But I am really scared when she first pop out the big question. She tried to crack a joke about it the first time. Then she got serious and told me she had a dream that I am pregnant a week after.

I decided to take a pregnancy test when my Mom popped that big question, twice. I bought the most expensive and accurate (according to Google) HPT. I took two of them and both came out positive. Honestly, I didn’t get scared about the fact that I am having a baby and I am unemployed and I haven’t finished school yet. What bothered me when I saw the clear two pink lines was… How the hell am I going to tell my parents that they’re gonna be grandparents soon? To make sure that the HPT is really telling me that I am pregnant, I went to see a doctor the next day. It felt so real when it was confirmed by a professional. It even felt more real when they gave me prenatal vitamins and prenatal kit with information on pregnancy.

I will never forget that day. I don’t want to go home and face my parents when it was confirmed already. I was able to keep it from my parents for eleven days. I would say that was the most awkward eleven days of my life. The guilt that I am feeling was indescribable. Imagine being around people who loves you so dearly but you’ve got something inside you that will break their hearts?

Thankfully, My Mom didn’t ask me about my period during that 11 days. I tried so hard not to talk to her too so she won’t remember asking me about my period. But after 11 days, My parents confronted me about the issue. They asked me and I have no choice so I told the truth. I figured out there is no right time and good ways to tell them that I’m pregnant. They both looked so disappointed. My Mom cried so hard. I cried too but I have this attitude that I don’t know how to feel sorry for the mistakes I’ve done even when I was a child.

My parents were so mad. Dad didn’t talk to me for four days. But he’s been extra nice to me on the fifth day until now. Mom talked to my boyfriend and my future mom-in-law after she find out. She’s still holding grudges until now which is why we became so distant.

It was tough but I’m glad that stage is so over. I just realized, maybe if I stayed humble and showed my parents that I feel so sorry for thr mistake that I’ve made, they will be extra nicer to me. I really don’t know what’s up with my guts that I can’t even be like that just for once. I feel like a big thorns was released from my body after I finally told them about the baby. I am happy that God helped me through.

The year 2011 has been a whirlwind. I can’t believe the year will be over in a few weeks. I had my ups and downs. I faced storms but I did faced rainbows too. At the end of the day, I know I’m still blessed because God is helping me get by and face everything that life throws at me with a really brave heart.

But am I really enough already to face a new chapter in my life?

I am going to be a Mommy soon. I’m trying to stay on the positive pole but sometimes I get really worried thinking that “Am I really ready for this?”. Thinking about what will happen in the next months scares me but I know God would never leave me in this beautiful new chapter of my life. He gave me this because He knows that I can do this. And maybe He thinks I’ll be a good mom.

I decided to deactivate all of my social network accounts. Well, actually my Mom stopped me from using Facebook account and my boyfriend gets mad when ever I use such sites. But I am getting really bored and I want to do something productive whenever I turn on my laptop or use my phone. I still have my Twitter account but I can’t really rant and blurt out every detail of my life in there.

So, HELLO TUMBLR! =]

You’re going to be my baby from this day forward.